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Scribe & Quill ~~ April 2004
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Vol. 2 Issue 2
ISSN: 1098-6375

Section 1 of 2 Sections

=========
MASTHEAD:
=========

* Editor/Publisher
Bev Walton-Porter <editor@scribequill.com>

* Assistant Editor / Advertising Manager
Mindy Phillips Lawrence <mplcreative1@aol.com>

*Contributing Editor
J.M.Cornwell <jcornwell@peoplepc.com>

* Humor Editor
Donna "Kai" Wilson <kai@spirit-tome.com>

* Poetry Editor
J. Michele Bodkin <poetry@scribequill.com>

* Nonfiction Columnist
Joyce Faulkner <katieseyes@aol.com>

* Humor Columnist
Sharon Wren <swren1@sbcglobal.net>

* Video Game Reviewer
Jonathan Porter <gamersedge@scribequill.com>

* Mascots:

-- Isis and Osiris, the Feline Freelancers
<isis@scribequill.com >

-- Popeye the Editing Wonder Dog
<popeye@scribequill.com>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Editor's Note

~Announcements

~Scribe & Quill Patrons

~Featured Column:
Grammar Goofs - Excess Eccentricities
By J.M. Cornwell (jcornwell@peoplepc.com)

~Featured Column:
Time Really Is Money for Freelancers
By Jill Vaile (jill@jilleliz.com)

~Quotables

~Scribes of Note -- Virtual Quills

~Reader Spotlight: Kelly Steed (http://home.att.net/~s.c.ninlil.c.b)

~Featured Article:
Comfort Writing
By Kai Wilson (kai@spirit-tome.com)

~Featured Article:
How to Block Out Writer's Block
By Gareth Tamplin (gazzaunreal@hotmail.com)

~Poems:
--Stalemate
By Bev Walton-Porter (editor@scribequill.com)
-- Balloon's First Flight
By L.B. Sedlacek (poppoets@aol.com)
-- Solitude's Feast
By Michelle B. Turner (mb.turner@bigpond.com)

~Book Reviews
--"Hot Pink: The Girls' Guide to Primping, Passion and Pubic Fashion."
By Deborah Driggs and Karen Risch
--"Once a Hobo"
By Monte Holm and Dennis L. Clay
--"The River Turned Red"
By Nirmala Moorthy
--Author's Response to "Bedtime Stories for Women" review

~Video Game Reviews:
--Mafia

~Scribe & Quill Professional Writing Courses

~Writer's Wit:
I'm Looking for Myself -- Did You See Me?
By Paula Cochran (paula4mail@evenlink.com)

~The Last Word: Recommended Links for Writers

~Contact and submission information

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NOTE FROM THE EDITOR:
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Dear Gentle Readers,

Our last issue received a great deal of positive feedback! In addition, we are adding new Scribe & Quill members on a regular basis. I want to thank you all for your enduring support and readership. Don't forget that we'd love to hear about you in our reader spotlight section. It's simple to participate! Send us an e-mail to editor@scribequill.com with READER SPOTLIGHT in the subject line. The better we get to know you, the reader, the better we can determine which articles will be of most interest to you in coming issues.

Scribe & Quill has some useful new sections that will be unveiled this month, including a professional editing service made up of four select professionals who have a combined total of over 75 years' worth of experience as writers/editors. Our editing service will offer affordable, personal and thorough editing on articles, short stories and book manuscripts. Need us to ghostwrite your book? We can do that too! For more information on our new editing services or to obtain a price quote, send an e-mail to editor@scribequill.com with EDITING SERVICES in the subject line.

Finally, next time you stop by the site, check out our new Dedications page (http://www.scribequill.com/Dedications.html). This is the place where readers may honor those individuals/mentors who have made a difference in their writing lives. To submit your dedication, send us an e-mail telling us who has inspired/motivated you to write along with a brief explanation of how they impacted your writing life. Send your e-mail dedication to editor@scribequill.com with DEDICATION in the subject line of the e-mail. 

Until next issue,

Bev Walton~Porter, Editor
editor@scribequill.com
***
Mindy Lawrence, Asst. Editor/Advertising Manager
mplcreative1@aol.com

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ANNOUNCEMENTS:
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SCRIBE & QUILL'S -- LEFT AND RIGHT!:

Have a question to pose to other writers about the technical aspects of writing? Want to post your latest success or sale? Need to promote a new market? This community is exclusively for the left-brained, linear side of Scribe & Quillers!
Post your messages here!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ScribeQuill/

***

Scribe & Quill also has a journaling community on Live Journal: http://www.livejournal.com/~scribequill Come express your innermost thoughts/feelings about being a writer in this community diary -- stream of consciousness and personal journal entries relating to the ups/downs/sideways of the writing life are welcomed! This community is exclusively for the right-brained, abstract side of Scribe & Quillers!

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BE A SCRIBE & QUILL PATRON:
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

Developing and distributing a regular publication, either online or in print, requires time and incurs costs such as Web hosting, domain fees, program renewals and operating costs.

We are glad to deliver S & Q to our readers at no charge, but we appreciate any contributions made to show support for this endeavor. Become a patron of Scribe & Quill and help support the continued publication of this 'zine. When you become a patron, we will list your name on our Web site and run a short personal profile of you in our zine as our thanks to you for your support.

Contributions may be made in these ways:

* Using the online payment service Paypal.com,
Click on this link:

https://www.paypal.com/xclick/business=editor%40scribequill.com&item name=SQpatron&item number=SQPatron&amount=5.00&no note=1&tax=0&currency code=USD

go to Pay Pal directly (http://www.paypal.com)
and send contribution to editor@scribequill.com

* Using a credit card via Amazon.com:
http://www.amazon.com/paypage/PTBVV59ORYU9J

Thank you for reading our magazine, and for your continued support.

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ADVERTISEMENT 
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

Moondance.org, the award-winning online e-zine "Celebrating Creative Women," has several openings for editorial and Web site staff. These are rewarding, non-paying positions requiring a commitment of approximately 20 hours per issue, four times per year.

Working with Moondance affords you the opportunity to hone your craft while interacting with an incredibly talented group of individuals in our virtual office. All work is done off-site, and our product is unsurpassed in its genre.

Bios are provided for all Staff.
Moondance is a great addition to your résumé.

To apply, please send a cover letter and résumé in the body of an e-mail (no attachments accepted) to staffing@moondance.org

Please state the position you are applying for in the subject line of your e-mail.

Thank You.

~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**
FEATURED COLUMN:
Grammar Goofs -- Excess Eccentricities
By J.M. Cornwell (jcornwell@peoplepc.com)
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With words like 'comparative' and 'superlative,' it is no wonder writers cringe when someone mentions grammar.  It is so much easier just to write what comes to you and not worry about punctuation or horrid, awful grammar.  Someone else down the line -- like editors -- will be glad to fix the writing. After all, it's their job. Yes, editors are paid to edit. No, they are not paid to fix lazy writing.

How many times have you defended your poor grammar and punctuation skills in poetry and prose by saying you allow the muse to take you where it will?  "I don't worry about grammar; it is the words that matter." Not true. Using the right words and plotting your sentences for the best effect is what writing is all about. You're not just drawing a picture with stick figures; you are painting a mural in words that everyone will understand as long as your writing is clear. 

As in any discipline: architecture, art, science, philosophy and, yes, even writing, the trick is making creation look easy even though the creator worked very hard. The cornerstone of a building is the foundation upon which everything rests. Without the cornerstone, the building will fall. Grammar is the cornerstone on which all literary structures are built. 

More and most are the cornerstones on which excess is built. In the grammatical sense, they are the comparative and superlative degrees. More is the middle degree of comparison, of excess, and most is the highest degree. 

She is more happy than I have seen her in years. 
This is the most happy he has ever been.

In one sense, the above sentences are all right, but they are not grammatically correct. MORE HAPPY and MOST HAPPY are incorrect. The sentences should be:

She is happier than I have seen her in years.
This is the happiest he has ever been.

Simple and yet you will hear MORE and MOST used incorrectly in nearly every television and radio commercial and program and in most movies. 

If you can add -er or -ier to the end of a word, forget more. If you can add -est or -iest to the end of a word, forget most.  Simple. 

WRONG: The wallpaper was more pale green than grass and the most pale green I have ever seen.

RIGHT: The wallpaper was paler green than grass and the palest green I have ever seen. 

WRONG: His hair was more dry than the Sahara and the most dry I ever saw.

RIGHT: His hair was drier than the Sahara and the driest I ever saw.

Grammar takes a little extra time but, like finding the right word or the right description for an object, a person, or a scene, the result is simpler and clearer. Besides, when you're focusing on word count and you need to cut off the fat, one word is better than two. Cut more and most and you could save that sentence you can't bear to cut.  

***

J.M. Cornwell has been a professional writer for 28 years and a professional editor for 26 years. She is a member of Scribe & Quill's Professional Editing Services Team. To contact her for an editing quote, send an e-mail to jcornwell@peoplepc.com with EDITING QUERY in the subject line.

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ADVERTISEMENT
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**
"It's Never Too Late to Become a Freelance Writer."
FREELANCING LATER IN LIFE
http://www.booklocker.com/books/86.html

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FEATURED COLUMN
Time Really Is Money for Freelancers
By Jill E. Vaile (jill@jilleliz.com)
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For freelance writers, their income is measured by their output. How they make use of that time directly affects their earning capacity. Let's use a real example to understand how the use of your time can make or break any expected earnings you, the writer, can realize in a freelance situation.

Let's say you receive an assignment for a 3,000-word article with a two-week deadline. The assigning editor wants you to include quotes from no less than three experts, and two sidebars with point-by-point summaries, with one photograph. You are knowledgeable on the subject matter, but still require research to find and contact your experts and ensure your diagram and sidebars will reflect the development that is the focus of your assignment. You also must find the optimal subject/location for your photograph.

Your agreement calls for the following payment:

$3,500 upon acceptance.

This breaks down as:

$3,000 for 3000 words = $1.00 per word
$  100 for the accepted photograph
$  200 for the sidebars

Now apply this to your annual earnings goal of $ 100,000. To reach this goal, you need to gross $1,923 per week. Since you are prepared to work six days per week, this breaks down to approximately $320 per day, or $40 per hour, for an eight-hour workday.

Fitting this assignment into the equation, your time commitment for it is 87 hours maximum.

Piece of cake, right?

Maybe.

Realistically, you can immediately deduct 15 hours in total to do the final format -- this now leaves 72.5 hours.

Take off five hours for the photograph:

One to two hours while you decide on the location/subject.
One hour travel to and from
One hour to cover your camera expenses (note: regardless of camera format)
One hour to tweak/format/decide on the actual photograph once you have several from which to choose.

Balance of time is now 67.5 hours.   

Deduct six hours for your expert quotes: deciding which expert, contacting them, obtaining the actual quote, permissions, releases, approvals.

Balance of time is now 61.5 hours

The remaining hours are the "make or break" ones in terms of adhering to your earnings and period goal.

Deduct ten hours right now to allow for your rough draft. This is separate from the initial deduction of 15 hours for  formatting because the final formatting is the last step.

Balance of time is now 51.5 hours

The likelihood of meeting your earnings goal comes down to one thing:

RESEARCH: how and where you do your research, specifically.
(Before we examine the RESEARCH aspect, take off two more hours for the first write-up from your rough draft.)

Balance of time is now 49.5 hours.

Did you figure in your sidebars and diagram yet? Take off five more hours: two, two and one for each sidebar and diagram, respectively.

Balance of time is now 44.5 hours

"No sweat," you say.

Let's see...your plan to do a Google search and get everything you need has a flaw. Google is great, no mistake in that, but is it the best place for specific information and data searching?
NO. Bottom line.

While Google can dependably return copious mount of links that appear to fit your needs, checking each one in the hopes of finding pertinent information could eat up 20 hours of your remaining time, figuring conservatively. What to do?

If you proceed as you originally planned, you will have roughly 24 hours left.

What would have made a difference?

1. If you have an interest in a particular subject, one you hope to write about, and that interest rewards you with an actual assignment, you obviously have invested some time to gain some quantity of knowledge, basic or otherwise.

If you have been organized enough to start and keep a file going of this knowledge, you deserve a pat on the back! Most people do not think that far ahead. However, you can still make use of your browser's "HISTORY" or "BOOKMARKS" to trace your steps.

2. Other sources you should have been responsibly cultivating are:

*List-servs on the subject
*An individual whom you have identified as an expert on the subject and someone you can rely upon in a mentoring capacity

*Print and online magazines which are either directly related, or will lead you to specific information to further your knowledge, therefore providing you with research sources.

3. There are other, more generic routes to explore, but there are certainly a number of specialized places to look through. These should be among your favorite starting points as they address the issues specifically. As a writer/journalist, you should refer to sites regularly that are "jumping off points" (if not a direct match) for the information you need.

4. Remember that the time to scope out these sites/sources is NOT when you are on a deadline!

If you truly seek to earn a living as a freelance writer, try to follow:

*DO NOT pitch any article idea unless and until you have at let five solid sites/references to refer to for the information that you will be required to provide.

*You may have good theories, and they may be quite valid, but the emphasis is on verifiable facts. If you cannot provide empirical proof of the validity of your claims, you are just wasting everyone's time. In today's world of Internet spin, rumor and hoaxes, any publication worth writing for emphasizes the verification or validation of anything and everything before they will print it. Sometimes the onus is on you to provide proof of your statements. Often the publication employs people who sole function is to check and verify what you claim are facts. The degree of importance placed upon verification of your "facts" comes down to the reputation of the publication. If your work cannot be verified, you risk losing that, and any future assignments -- never mind the embarrassment factor or possible negative reputation.

*Relying upon last minute searches for specific data to validate your opinion is a dangerous place to find yourself in. Why?
You may NOT find it. You are rushing and can be careless in a race to meet a deadline. At that point, it is just unprofessional. You are no longer a writer, you're the kid who stayed up all night to cram for the final he never went to class in.

If you are good you might pull it off once, twice or maybe even more, but eventually it will catch up with you.

The bottom line here is: Ask yourself which would you rather have? One assignment, rushed, that does little to showcase your talent OR repeating assignments based upon your well researched, verifiable, well written work?

NO ANSWER REQUIRED!

As a writer, your knowledge of the world around you must be cutting-edge. You'll gain a much broader perspective of events and developments in the world by keeping your attention on a variety of issues and topics. Subscribing to ten writer's newsletters, of which seven regurgitate what the first three offered, is just poor time management.

Sometimes it is the smallest detail in a seemingly unrelated topic that will give you an edge and bring everything full circle for you.

*Subscribe to news sites, world events coverage, economics and tech developments if that is the focus of your writing world. Your view of the world will be better and wider rather than repetitive and narrow.

*Take on new interests and pursue them voraciously.

*Remember that Google has its place -- mostly as a starting point or for very specific information.

Use some of these great reference and information sources, compliments of
                The STASH:

*The Journalist's Toolbox: <http://www.journaliststoolbox.com>

*ERIC (while you still can*):<http://www.edrs.com/Search.cfm>

*Library Sites (especially the ones at major colleges): for example: <http://er.lib.msu.edu/subject.cfm?cat=0&type=All&Subject=Education>

*News publications that have some basis in your subject

*Wire Services: AP -- <www.ap.org/>; REUTERS -- <www.reuters.com/>; FIRST GOV -- A great jumping off place for all government sites: <www.firstgov.gov/>

*BLOGS and RSS Feeds: <www.syndic8.com/> -- A directory of nearly all available XML- and RSS-driven Web logs and syndicated news feeds

*TIP: When you find something of interest you subscribe to, pay attention to those who post there and the publications they represent. Often times you will find a related more detailed source to further subscribe to.

*Non-Profit Groups

*Specialized databases, encyclopedias and dictionaries: <http://Searchsystems.net/> : Links to +5,000 databases of use

*Archives of lists you find useful

Do you ever watch football? Do you notice that regardless of the number of years a player has been pro, they always identify him first by his alma mater?

EXPERT=>PLAYER=>CURRENT AFFILIATION=>TEAM=>ORIGIN OF EXPERTISE=>COLLEGE

Tracing everything back, keeping that thread, inevitably leads you to your destination. While it is rather simplistic, it is nonetheless an important trail to learn to track. So let's get back to that last 24 hours you had for your article.

You easily found the sources and experts, validation and quotes in under 24 hours because you have a flourishing garden of references from which to select.

Formulating and formatting your article is an easy act of putting all the pieces together and typing it up. You had 22 hours left after your research. Now you can submit it EARLY with time to spare! You just got a raise! Congratulations!

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ADVERTISEMENT
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

~ THE ROSE & THORN LITERARY EZINE ~
Discover how this award-winning magazine of fiction, poetry and essays can enhance your literary experience. Don't miss out on writer's tips, FREE newsletters and interactive forums.  Submit your manuscripts now! 
               [http://www.theroseandthornezine.com]

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FEATURED CONTEST
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

New essay writing contest is now online at The Dabbling Mum.
No entry fee! Three winners receive non-cash prizes totaling $130
Contest ends: May 28, 2004
Enter by online form only:
http://thedabblingmum.com/contests/index.htm

In 500 words, write an essay using this sentence as the beginning sentence: "When life gets the better of me, I turn to God for help and...."

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http://www.dream-sequence.net.

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QUOTABLES
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"I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat." 
--Edgar Allan Poe

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ADVERTISEMENT
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According to top magazine and book editors, one of the main characteristics submitted articles and manuscripts must have to garner serious consideration is clean, error-free writing. It's attention to detail that separates the professional writer from the amateur.

MPL Creative Resources can help you achieve accurate, professional copy by providing editing and proofing skills to polish your work. We offer copyediting, substantive editing, proofreading and query letter writing services.

Contact Mindy Phillips Lawrence at mplcreative@yahoo.com to discuss a price quote.

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SCRIBES OF NOTE
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At Scribe & Quill a virtual quill is our way of congratulating scribes of note who have made an article sale, published a book, snagged an agent/publisher or have reported to us a number of other notable successes in writing/publishing.

Our quills are virtual because they exist only in cyberspace. We honor the recipients here with an old-fashioned pat on the back and publication of your news so our readers can celebrate with you!

Have a success you'd like to trumpet to the rest of world? Send your triumph to editor@scribequill.com with VIRTUAL QUILL in the subject line.

This issue's virtual quills are awarded to:

Barbie Cooper (barbiepc@bellsouth.net) announces her screenplay, "Not My Papa," was selected for the Grand Goldie Film Award for 2004.

Sara Daniels (http://www.dandelionbooks.net/books/htm#daniels2) has published "Come As You Are" through Dandelion Books (http://www.dandelionbooks.net).

Pamela Heffernan (e2000pamela@rogers.com) announces her article, "From Beginning to End - In a Flash!" was published by Fiction Factor http://www.fictionfactor.com/guests/flash.html.

Karin Gillespie (mailto:kgillespie@knology.net) has three novels under contract with Simon and Schuster. The first, "Bet Your Bottom Dollar," a humorous Southern novel, will be published in July 2004. For more information, visit http://www.karingillespie.com. 

"Rising From the Ashes," by Michael LaRocca, was an EPPIE 2004 finalist in the Single Title/Mainstream category. It is a true story of how his mother overcame incredible hardship to raise two sons alone, and how she lost one to suicide.  http://freereads.topcities.com/michaellarocca.html contains reviews, interviews and three free chapters.

Correction on a virtual quill: Mindy Phillips Lawrence (mplcreative1@aol.com) was recently selected as newsletter editor pro tem of the Missouri Writers Guild. Her poem, "Movement," has been published in One Thousand Whispers http://www.onethousandwhispers.com/W04/index.php?pg=lawrence. In addition, Mindy was recently selected to be part of Scribe & Quill's new editing service team.

Biff Mitchell (tmitchell@engageinteractive.com) published "The War Bug" through Double Dragon Publishing (http://www.double-dragon-ebooks.com/single.asp?ISBN=1-55404-113-9).

Dawn Whitmire (Dwhitmire0@cs.com) will have several books released this year, including "Indio Spell," coming May 2004 from Triskelion Publishing; "With Love From Sam," coming July 2004 from Wings ePress; "Timeless Spell," coming late summer 2004 from Triskelion Publishing and "Hell Hath No Fury," coming early fall 2004 from Triskelion Publishing.

Kai Wilson (kai@spirit-tome.com), humor editor for Scribe & Quill, is settled into her position as assistant prose editor at the Rose & Thorn Literary E-zine. Kai wrote, "Thanks, Bev, for believing in me and allowing me to edit for you! I don't think I'd have gotten the position without your encouragement and support these last months. Thank you so much!" Thank you, Kai, for offering your talents to Scribe & Quill! I am the one who is grateful to you!"

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End of Section I
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Scribe & Quill ~~ April 2004
Section II
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ISSN: 1098-6375

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READER SPOTLIGHT:
Kelly Steed (http://home.att.net/~s.c.ninlil.c.b)
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1. What types of writing do you engage in most often?

Kelly Steed: I write novels. I seem to be singularly incapable of writing short stories -- guess I'm just long winded. My first two novels started out to be short stories, then went to novella length and were finally novels before they were finished.I also write a Web log entry each week on some topic to do with writing and the publishing industry. I keep an offline personal diary and entries are made anywhere from daily to once a month depending on what's happening in my life. I write at least two letters a month and countless e-mails. I also write and edit the Kelly Steed Sci-Fi Author Newsletter, which comes out the first week of every month.

2. What's the best advice anyone ever gave you about being a writer?

KS: The best advice I received early on was never to pay for an agent. 

3. Did you always long to be a writer, or did you start out wanting to work in another field?

KS: I wanted to be a history teacher and eventually a professor and work in the museum field until the end of my freshman year of college. I didn't like what I was hearing about what was going on in the schools. At that point, I wanted to be a parapsychologist but my mother wouldn't allow me to transfer to another university to pursue it, so I mistakenly stayed in the education field. After I graduated, I worked as a historic site interpreter for a couple museums and learned what major political machines they are. That turned me right off! I dumped education shortly thereafter due to severe depression. I always planned to write nonfiction history because as a professor or a curator I would be expected to publish. I never expected that one day I'd be writing novels. I still plan to one day write history.

4. As a reader, who are your favorite authors and why?

KS: Mercedes Lackey -- Lackey's worlds are so complete and so detailed. They really grip me emotionally!

H. Beam Piper -- Piper can take one idea time travel and write so many unique stories off it.

Ray Bradbury -- Bradbury's "Martian Chronicles" are the same way as Piper's Paratime stories. I think both authors show a true mark of genius because each story is fresh and exciting.

Gordon R. Dickson -- Dickson makes some really keen observations about life and he isn't afraid to explore them in his work.

5. Where do you find most of your ideas for writing?

KS: I've found ideas in dreams, memories, through historical research, in conversations, from television and movies that spark something beyond the scopes of their stories and from everyday life.

Kelly Steed can be reached through her Web page, The Steed Zone: http://home.att.net/~s.c.ninlil.c.b

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FEATURED ARTICLE
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**

Comfort Writing
By Kai Wilson (kai@spirit-tome.com)

You know the scenario -- you're watching television or having a bad day and you decide, "Ah, to hell with it. There's no ice cream in the fridge, the sky is pouring sleet and I don't want to get in the car and drive to the shops. I'll write." Comfort reading and writing usually take one form: wish fulfillment. 

Most of the angst-filled fan fiction that's been appearing since online time began is comfort writing. Comfort writing is also a major mainstream market with a following of its own. The great thing about comfort *reading* is that there's no need for it to actually comfort, just that the reader gets some sort of pleasure out of it or some experience they feel they need, whether that is scaring themselves witless, working out that all-important meaningless fling between two characters they've grown to love or even vicariously experiencing the consummation of a relationship. These can all be classified as comfort reading.
People who read in their spare time tend to be better writers.  That's not to say all reading is comfort reading, but a lot of it does fulfill this basic need to feel and, therefore, can be called comfort reading.

True comfort writing, when you're venting frustrations or making yourself feel better, is a no-brainer. No plot, just something you'd like to see that makes you feel good. It flows from the pen and over the page with ease. Characters can be familiar, a comfort in themselves, created in the mind of another and borrowed. They can be your own. You can mix and match. They don't even need to be cannon (fan fiction term for matching character portrayal and keeping your characters true to their original incarnation) as long as you're happy. Fan fiction is a wonderful area for comfort writing and gives you a chance to flex your characterization muscles. Though it seems you're not doing anything, you are actually working with characterization models within yourself and creating interactions that may match with what the original writer had in mind.

There is a lot of competition within the genre of comfort writing and the original material produced within it. Essays have to be finely crafted, fit and move people on a major level. Competition is fierce and often tough. Whole anthologies can be filled by a select few who have comfort writing down to a fine art. These personal essays fit a theme and are marketed heavily.

So what's the use of comfort writing? Well, Harlequin Mills & Boon (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk/) have built their business on wish fulfillment and vague 'could be real but created out of the mind of the author.' Though it can probably be said of romance of any kind, comfort writing can sometimes provide wonderful comfort reading material. 

Emotion is a major element in this appeal. There's nothing more appealing than being able to gasp, laugh, cry and live a little through another. Some writers comfort write in the area in which they are most familiar. Fantasy, erotica, dark horror and crime are 'comfort' fields. None of them contain as many of the taboos of the past. In fact, some of the taboos are played on to maximum effect.

Erotica comfort writing, for example, can provide a valid outlet for anyone looking to share their fantasies or explore her/his sexuality at their her/his own speed. Erotica really IS the ultimate sex toy -- especially for a writer. It provides outlets unknown in the past and give areas to explore that conventional means may not provide. Plus, it's really entertaining when you share it and begin receiving fan mail.

Horror and other areas are best for venting frustration. It's amazing what dastardly tortures people can come up with! Boo factor to gore, every shade of psychological, emotional and physiological menace can be inflicted on your characters without fear of local law enforcement arresting you. A crime against the keyboard, some of the best horror is based around nightmare, fact and the insatiable need that some have to explore the human psyche.

When people are finished with that, there's also the joy of dealing with your own personal experiences. Journaling, personal essays and non-fiction can class as comfort writing. Sharing dreams, both physical and wished, within your sleep and daydreams can be a great form of comfort writing. Experience, too, is an area that many gain comfort from. The key is moving someone to feel SOMETHING. As long as we feel, we fulfill basic criteria of what defines us as humans. It doesn't need to be limited to love any more. And if you feel up to the competition, there is a booming market out there.

Best of all is, no matter how much comfort writing you do, there is always both room for more -- and the knowledge that you are honing your own skills and, perhaps, creating something that will move someone else.

So the next time you're frustrated, don't grab a bar of chocolate -- comfort write instead!

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"An American Redneck In Hong Kong" by Michael LaRocca
http://www.novelbooksinc.com/authors/michael larocca/michael larocca.html

Can a "serious" author venture into humor without destroying his good name? I suppose we'll find out. True dog stories, cat stories, horse stories, hog stories, redneck stories and Hong Kong stories.

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How to Block Out Writer's Block
By Gareth Tamplin (gazzaunreal@hotmail.com)

I sat there in silence. Four hours passed since the last scratchings of pen on paper echoed through the lonely spaces and corners of my room. A small, hunched figure sprawled over a desk, I stared blankly into space and grasped with tired mental hands at nimble inspirational butterflies that were literally just out of reach by a mere fraction. My eyes glazed over for the last 20 minutes as my consciousness wandered to meaningless events and trivial dealings I had undertaken that day instead of getting that mystical idea down on paper. A small wastepaper bin sat firmly in the far corner of the room, full to the brim with crumpled white balls of paper. The contents of the bin gradually filled more and more until it overflowed and covered a small section of carpeted floor. But still I sat there, sighed and threw my pen down for the umpteenth time. I repeated this cycle for a further three days.

Ever had the experience described above? Most people who have tried to write anything have almost certainly fallen victim to that monster known as writer's block. It happens to me on an incredibly regular basis. Usually it's mildly annoying, perhaps even a bit frustrating. But sometimes, especially if writing is your livelihood, not being able to constructively put pen to paper can be a distressing and stressful experience, similar to a sprinter who can't run due to a broken leg or a pilot with a phobia of flying. This feeling can, in fact, be depressing and may be caused by depression -- a vicious cycle indeed.

I have been trying to write something -- anything -- for the last week or so after finishing off a short story I've been working on for about two or three months. I think this was directly the reason for my block. After working on a project for so long it's hard to take in that you HAVE finished it. I find it can be a challenge to get out of your previous mindset and begin anew. I simply couldn't think of a subject to write about, even if it was for a small article of sorts. I could barely squeeze a miniature piece of fan-fiction out of my brain. Even that piece was mediocre.

So what is somebody who has writers' block doing writing an article on how to BEAT writer's block? Surely if I knew how to beat it I would have done so already. However, in writing this article it seems I'm getting past my own block! I haven't been writing long, but from reading other articles and writing frequently myself, I've picked up a few things that work for me when that thick cloud comes down over my head. They may work for you as well, or perhaps not at all, but at least in reading this you should be willing to try out these suggestions!

1. Writing through it.

Sounds like a stupid idea, doesn't it? The whole concept of writer's block indicates that you can't actually write when you have it, so writing through it will be about as useful as a tomato with wheels. But this tip is one of the most useful ways to get through it. If you're working on a big project and suddenly find yourself with a mental block, put that project aside and try writing something else. Perhaps a small poem, a piece of descriptive writing, a joke -- anything at all. Take a look for some online story idea generators, or indeed any generator, and try and write a paragraph or two about the results. It's probably not going to aid you directly with the project, but at least it will get your brain ticking again.

2. Create and capture inspiration.

That sounds equally as bad as the first one did, but bear with me. Inspiration comes to me like trapped wind: always at the most inappropriate times and never for very long. It's always a good practice to keep a notepad and pen beside your bed while you sleep. In addition, keep a small pad and pen on your person at all times, and maybe even a voice recorder if you're in a profession where you literally can't stop and write something down at a moment's notice. Whatever your method, ALWAYS have a way of recording your ideas. Forcing ideas generally doesn't work. But if you try directly, you might notice an event in your day-to-day life that gives you a great idea. However, by the time you get home you've forgotten what the idea is or probably forgotten you ever had any ideas in the first place.

What do I mean by 'create' inspiration? I mean you should trick your brain into coming up with ideas. One way to do this is to listen to music you've never heard before. Pick up a random record from the local shop or turn on a radio station you've never thought of listening to before. If you're a parent, trying putting on some of your children's music. If you live with your parents, try the same thing. The new experience will stimulate your mind in a new way -- or you'll get so bored your mind will automatically wander off and think of something else! Again, have something handy to record these momentary epiphanies or you'll have to start again! This suggestion can be used with television, books, food, places to walk, hobbies -- anything! Try something new and see what happens.

3. Fill in the gaps.

Wow, I'm really the king of absurd section titles, but this is another method I've found very useful, especially when undertaking large projects. It's very simple: if you're writing a short story, for example, and you're stuck on a certain part of a chapter, (perhaps you have the start and a part of the middle, but can't continue) try skipping ahead a few scenes and write the end of the chapter or a little way on in the story from the part you're at now. Then, when you come back to the part you were stuck on, you'll have two points to work from and will literally 'fill in the gaps' of that particular chapter. I wouldn't recommend going as far as skipping whole chapters, though.

4. Prevention is better than cure.

I know if you're reading this you may already be halfway into a project and this will be mostly useless to you now, but learn from a mistake! A good plan is essential for anything, and although planning a piece of writing doesn't need to be as detailed as a jet engine blueprint, a brief outline is useful to fall back on. There are various advantages to planning, as well as disadvantages. Keep the plan detailed enough to give a clear outline, but also brief enough to give you a fair amount of artistic freedom to go off course a little. Too many restrictions will choke and kill an idea where too few will allow it to get out of control. Balance is tricky, but worth it in the end.

When I create a plan for a story, I usually open a blank text document on my computer and put three main points: the start, the middle and the end. Just three broad points will do. The opening is the plot and perhaps a main character, the middle part is the meat and potatoes of the story and the end is the resolution. After that, take a tip from the last section and fill in the gaps. Go into more detail about main events of the story, critical interactions between characters, maybe even parts of dialogue you want to remember. Finally, try and condense these points into specific chapters and link them together with other points. With a bit of refinement you will have a summary of the entire story!

5. Finish first, redraft later.

This is one bit of advice I've taken to heart. It may overlap with the first point a little, but here goes. No matter how bad you think your piece is, always try and finish it to the end. At the start of a project it's bound to be new and exciting, but once you get used to it the novelty will wear off. More often than not this doesn't mean what you're writing is as terrible as you think it is. Be critical, but only to a point. There's always the re-drafting phase once you're done to iron out any faults your work may have. If you can't get past a certain section, leave a note to yourself to explain one or two ideas and then move on to the next bit. When you come to re-draft it, you might see the writing in a different light and an idea will present itself then.

When it comes to writer's block, the idea is (running the risk of sounding cheesy) never to give up. Never surrender! With these easy tips, you can beat the block.

***
Bio:

My name is Gaz and I hail from a small God-forsaken town in South Wales, UK. I'm pretty damned obsessed with horror, sci-fi and -- to cut a long story short -- literature. I'm a fan of rock and metal music. My favourite author is Brian Lumley, but I'm definitely open to any suggestions of books I should read! E-mail me if you wish: gazzaunreal@hotmail.com

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Stalemate
By Bev Walton-Porter (editor@scribequill.com)

Love
inert
heart's decoy
atrophied hope
destiny thwarted
obstacles numerous
writhing in cruel limbo
the future waits in your lone hands
unravel our souls and set them free
time appears boundless; fate defers to none  

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Majin Gajita's Domain -- If you can see past the cheesy, misleading title and the free Web-hosting, a whole host of creativity awaits you (albeit the work of a fairly strange British teenager, but creativity nonetheless!) Fiction, Comic Strips, Poetry -- the list goes on. http://www.geocitiescom/gajitasgenerators/

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The Balloon's First Flight
By LB Sedlacek (poppoets@aol.com)

The hot air balloon,
tethered by a rope
like a wild horse
in a corral,

bounces with the
currents as the others do --
to blend with sky,
melt with sun

as a cloud,
drifts aimlessly
begging shamelessly
for paints and brush
to draw the view
the basket sees
as it dangles near trees,
dances around birds.

***
BIO:

LB Sedlacek's poetry has appeared in "Grit," "The Horsethief's
Journal," "The Artemis Journal," "Lutheran Digest," "Lite: Baltimore's Literary Newspaper," "Facets Literary Magazine" and "Iodine" with work upcoming in "Hadrosaur Tales," "sidereality," "Poetry Motel," "HazMat Review," "Snake Nation Review," "Coppertales" and "The Foliate Oak."  LB's
poetry chapbook, "Alexandra's Wreck," was published by Kitty Litter Press (www.kittylitterpress.com) in 2002. LB has also been nominated for the Pushcart Prize in poetry.

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Solitude's Feast
By Michelle B. Turner (mb.turner@bigpond.com)

A feast of sound.
Perpetual surging of wave
upon wave
unvoiced in its stillness.

Again roaring,
gulping up sound,
upon wave,
upon sound.

Participation.
Banqueting on
cosmic secret expanses
of Life.

A feast for a soul.
Beginning in silence,
ending in howls
of release.

Feast upon the Solitude
of true form,
dependent not upon
a shell of muscle,
bone.
Intangible.

Feast upon the Solitude
of joyous spirit.
Breeze communicates vibration
of tree, rock,
stream.

They Stand.

The Standing People,
connecting sky
and earth,
all part of this
Solitude of Noise...

Listen.
Pull the whisper from the wind
into the earth.
Respect rocks' lesson.

Feast upon the Silence
of the Solitude of the Womb
of the Mother.

Feast upon Life.

Solitude's Feast.

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Need editorial comments on a book project before submission? Need a wordsmith? Seattle-based freelancer Sonali T. Sikchi can help you with that and more. Her services include substantive and developmental editing, writing, copywriting, proofreading, book reviewing, project management and research. Visit http://sonali_sikchi.home.comcast.net to find out about her
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RATING LEGEND:

**** Quills = Excellent
*** Quills = Good
** Quills = Fair
* Quills = Poor

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"Hot Pink: The Girls' Guide to Primping, Passion and Pubic Fashion."
By Deborah Driggs and Karen Risch
Reviewed By: J.M. Cornwell (jcornwell@peoplepc.com)
Publisher: http://hotpinkbook.com/
Rating: * * * * Quills

"Hot Pink" should have been called "The Art of Decadence." 

Citing studies, information and history, Deborah Driggs and Karen Risch explore women's sexuality, pleasure and decadence in all its wondrous forms and functions. They even include a section on names for the center of the Hot Pink arena and supply Web sites for further information and opportunities to dress, caress and pamper yourself from head to toe with special emphasis on pubic grooming. 

The authors take time to detail every possible style for waxing, sugaring and shaving that most private of areas and how best to dress for success and pleasure. Beautiful line drawings provide a template for the novice and offer new treats and treasures for long-time aficionados. From Cleopatra to Aphrodite, no sensual bath is left undrawn. The color photographs add an almost O'Keefe-like feel. 

The information is presented in genuinely honest fashion and is a very quick read, mining the substance and leaving out the hype.  

Although the topic of "Hot Pink" can be considered risqué, Driggs and Risch have taken great care with their subject and their presentation. The photos, art and design of "Hot Pink" beg to be displayed on every coffee table and will provide topics for conversation and experimentation to help lay bare the mysteries and secrets of female sexuality and sensuality.     

"Hot Pink" is the gift for every woman you know. 

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"Once A Hobo"
By Monte Holm and Dennis L. Clay
Reviewed By: Joyce Faulkner (katieseyes@aol.com)
Publisher: Proctor Publications LLC
ISBN: 1882792769
Rating: * * * * Quills
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1882792769/scriquil/

When I picked up this volume and flipped through the pages, I decided it was a scrapbook-style autobiography and put it aside to read on my vacation. Filled with charming sketches, family photographs and letters to and from Monte Holm, I anticipated an entertaining quick read -- perfect for the many hours I would spend on a train traveling from Los Angeles to Pittsburgh. Of course, my experience riding the rails didn't compare to Monte's, but I thought the story of a hobo during the depression would enhance my appreciation of the trip.

It did -- but in ways I never expected. "Once a Hobo" tells the story of a 13-year-old boy whom his father's new wife throws out of his family home. In 1930, Monrad Holm sets out on a five-year odyssey that takes him from town to town in search of work, food and shelter. On the road, he finds hunger, rejection and loneliness. Mooney, as he was known then, uses his wit and determination to survive when many others did not. 

Part "Wizard of Oz," part "Huck Finn" and part "Grapes of Wrath," the book is more than a simple adventure story about a boy seeking a home. It is more than a look at America worn thin by the Great Depression. It is an unselfconscious exploration of situational ethics -- how people act in times of extended hardship. 

The behavior Monte sees ranges from kindness to extreme cruelty. One hobo shares what little food he has, while another commits murder for a pancake. Some storekeepers give the boy a job while others chase him away. Some railroad workers turn a blind eye to the dozens of hungry scarecrows hopping their trains while others beat them to a pulp with whips. A farm family with limited resources shares their food, while restaurateurs sprinkle dirt over discarded scraps of food to deny starving people a bite to eat. 

The behavior Monte sees begs several questions. When everyone is impacted by the same disaster, what causes one person to share and another to horde? When everyone is in the same boat, why do some folks care about the boat and others about themselves? Why do some people collaborate? Why do some go it alone?

Monte is remarkably non-judgmental and that makes him a likeable narrator. His stories touch us because they seem familiar -- even the outlandish ones. His characters do, too. You recognize them by the way they act under stress. Neither villain nor hero, they struggle to find their way -- just like each of us.

Although guided by the early teachings of his preacher father, Monte is exposed to all manner of human ugliness during his years on the road. Even so, he seems to cherish the goodness in people while accepting that fear, desperation and hunger can rip the most religious person from their moral underpinnings. A freezing man will do almost anything to escape the elements.  Monte understands, but he focuses his energy on finding a warm solution rather than complaining about the cold. 

For a wild child growing up under difficult circumstances, it's a practical and positive perspective -- a philosophy that emphasizes self-reliance, responsibility and activism. Even when down, Monte is never out of the game. He says many times in his narrative, "I never was afraid of work." It is his core value -- that piece of himself that he can count on. It rescues him time and again. Not just as a means to earn the essentials of life, but as a way to sustain hope and self esteem.

As he grows from an inexperienced young boy to a seasoned worker, he keeps his eye on what he needs to do to better his chances in the world. He takes every opportunity to learn something new. For example, at a time when many kids walked away from school, Monte makes sure that he gets his diploma. Imagine the will power that takes for an unsupervised, half-starved teenager with no place to live.

During long stretches when Monte tends a herd of sheep in Montana, he concentrates on doing a good job. While riding the rods under a boxcar, he witnesses the horrific death of a fellow hobo at the hands of a railroad security cop. He stands in soup lines, sleeps in doorways and works on farms. He deals with solitude and survival at an age when I was still afraid of the dark. Each experience enriches him and leads him toward a life that he can't articulate at first. Then, as he matures, the hazy dream becomes clear -- a home, a family, a job. The very things that many of us take for granted.

This book tugs at the heart in subtle ways. I found myself spending more and more time with Monte even when I wasn't reading. At the grocery store, I thought about a scrawny young boy with an empty stomach when I picked out those special tidbits that we love but don't really need. While driving my car, I imagined the delight Monte felt when a man he'd helped gave him his first automobile. While crossing the street, I felt compelled to tuck a fiver into the hands of an old woman pushing a grocery cart filled with her worldly possessions. Would generosity come so easily if I were hungry?

Where hard times destroy some folks, they strengthen others.  In "Once a Hobo," the years of struggle teach Monte to appreciate all the things, small and large, that make up life.  Grateful for a handful of candy, a warm set of tin clothes, a loving wife, a beautiful daughter, grandchildren, a business -- Monte knows what many of us don't -- that the trip is as important as the destination.  

***

"The River Turned Red"
By Nirmala Moorthy
Reviewed By: Sonali T. Sikchi (sonali_sikchi@hotmail.com)
Publisher: Publish America, Inc.
ISBN: 1592862373
Rating: * *  Quills
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1592862373/scriquil/

(Note: This review was originally published by the Seattle and San Diego editions of the Guru newspaper January 9, 2004.)

With "The River Turned Red" Nirmala Moorthy has another page-turner for her many fans. Intrigue and romance, honor and sacrifice, suspense and mayhem intermingle with historical facts, and where reality falls short, Moorthy's talented storytelling takes flight.

Lila, Moorthy's signature lead, is the heir to the impoverished kingdom of Paramgar, India, in the days when the kingdom's annexation by the British East India Company is a serious threat. In spite of this, Lila finds herself hopelessly entangled with Stuart Wheeler, a captain in the British army. But to please her dying father, Lila disregards her feelings for Stuart and suffers through a politically expedient marriage to Vikram Singh, heir to the throne of Ratanpur, whom she dislikes passionately since their chance encounter during a hunt.

The British insensitivity and bigotry towards the religious and social customs of their Hindu and Muslim soldiers and their harsh punitive measures for the smallest infractions fuel united anger and violence against the oppressive colonial rule. Through Lila's perceptive observances and experiences, India's first bid for independence from British rule, the Sepoy Mutiny of 1857, unfolds in all its horrific drama and bloody aftermath.

Lila is trapped in this sinister web as she spurns her husband's overtures, and he assumes an increasingly menacing stance as a practitioner of Thuggery. She escapes from Ratanpur to visit her fatally ill father and see to his last rites. Compromised and insulted by the Nana Saheb, sinister ruler of Bithore, her attempts to save her captured governess end with her fall into the vengeful hands of her British lover. Stuart holds her responsible for the massacre of the British women and children in the siege of Cawnpore. Her short respite in Ramnagar, at the home of Daulat Ram's brother, is interrupted by her recognition by officials from Ratanpur, and she is summarily delivered into Vikram's hands. She escapes to Madhuvan to meet Mahesh, Vikram's younger, kinder brother, but ends up in a far direr situation than she has ever been.

What makes "The River Turned Red" particularly enjoyable are the strong, well-formed characters having their own distinct voices and personalities. With an authoritative command of rich historical details and a glimpse into India's culture of a bygone era, Moorthy skillfully weaves the various threads of the story into a cohesive engrossing plot, appealing to people of all ages and backgrounds.

Moorthy seems to relish and dwell on the gruesome and stomach-turning particulars of death by cremation, death by being blown to bits by cannon fire and death by the ruthless swiftness of the Thug roomal. A little less real estate devoted to this, and more spent on uncovering Lila's thoughts and interpretations of the devastating events would elevate this book from an entertaining story to a memorable one.

***

Author's Response to "Bedtime Stories for Women" Review in March 2004 issue:

Upon publication of Mindy Phillips Lawrence's review of "Bedtime Stories for Women," author Nancy Madore wanted to respond to the review as she felt it was not an accurate representation or assessment of the book and its genre. For reasons of space, I won't publish all the messages that were sent back and forth between the author, the reviewer and myself, but I have agreed to publish a blurb of comments that capture Nancy's points about the book.

Please bear in mind that reviews are merely opinion and they are not the be-all, end-all endorsement or rejection of a particular book. One reader may like a book while another may not, for various reasons. Opinions reflected in reviews are individual opinions of the reviewers and they do not necessarily reflect the view of Scribe & Quill as a whole or my own personal opinions. I urge you to read these books and decide for yourself. 

Nancy wrote:

Wow.

I am dumbfounded by your review of my book, "Bedtime Stories for Women."

You know, the biggest argument against feminism today, and one of the reasons it is not taken seriously, is because it is believed that "feminists" are really just man hating women with sexual hang-ups. The argument is that they can't enjoy sex so they don't want anyone else too. I have fought that belief my whole life, because I believe there are real issues in the media that are not only turning women off, but actually castrating them mentally.

In preparation for my book I did two full years of research.  And now, in articles in feminist magazines and in news magazines like Time Magazine, others are agreeing with me.

Women can handle the sex, and sorry to say it, but THOSE are their fantasies. Have you ever read any books researching this?  Medical books, psychology books, books with real quotes from real WOMEN? These are the things sexually active women are reading about.

The thing that is doing the most damage to women's sexuality is the constant stereotyping of women...making women feel like they have to be perfect. My stories were written completely without this. Did you even notice that?

You went so far as to outright lie: no character in my book was forced to do anything...(you say "Beauty is forced to have sex with the beast"...that is a lie...Beauty WENT to the Beast).   This is based on a fantasy many (yes, sorry to offend you, but there are MANY) women have called the beastiality fantasy. For a woman with that fantasy, I think I have cleaned it up beautifully by making him half beast, half man. It is a favorite with everyone who reads it. I was writing to women with these fantasies, after studying the fantasies in great detail, and working very hard to find the trigger points in the fantasis for her. Are you saying that all these women are perverts and deviants?

You reviewed this like you thought it was supposed to be something else. It is a book of women's erotic fantasies. You said, "I'll give the book one quill for the few times something sensible was said amidst the screwing." It IS a book about "screwing," as you call it. Women who enjoy this kind of reading loved this book. Yours was my first negative review (to see other reviews log onto http://www.bedtimestoriesforwomen.com). 

You could have at least been fair. If you cannot read erotica, don't. But to say all those horrible and untrue things...I am a woman who has been a feminist all her life. I have always fought for women's rights and have suffered first hand the injustices we have to suffer. Part of life is sex, and with all the crap out there for men, it is sad that there are women out there who would condemn women their fantasies, and resent any small thing out there for women to enjoy.

There was not one thing you said that I would take as constructive criticism...which is something I AM able to appreciate and in fact, have asked for. But I feel like I am the brunt of some private anger and resentment here that I had nothing to do with. 

I hope you don't think you did something positive for women here. Feminism is not about keeping all women from having sex.  Feminism is not about being a lesbian. Feminism is about equality...and that means an equal right to "screw" too, and think what she wants while she's doing it.

Maybe you'll have the nerve to publish my opinion of your review in your newsletter?

Nancy Madore
Author of "Bedtime Stories for Women"

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Scribe & Quill: "The Muse Stops HERE!"
Credit: Graphic of quill and parchment paper designed By
Cyndy Kinnecom

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RATINGS LEGEND:

* * * * = Cream of the Crop
* * * = Not groundbreaking, but worth your time
* * = Neither horrible or noteworthy
* =  Not worth your time

Mafia  (for PS2; 2004)
Rating: Mature
Rank: *  star
Reviewed By:  Jonathan Porter (console_gamer830@adelphia.net)

"Mafia: It's an offer you CAN refuse!"

Mafia is best known for being a fun game to play on the PC by many people. Therefore, it was pretty much inevitable that game developers would adopt it to the next generation consoles so that people like myself can experience the game. However, the end product is an often boring and sometimes frustrating game.

The game tells a story of you as a cab driver in America during the 1920s. One minute you're leaning against your taxi enjoying your cigarette break, and then ironically enough, two gangsters being run down by other nameless gangsters come up and command you to help them escape. Once you do this, you are given "an offer you can't refuse" and are recruited to be a gangster for a mob family.

Even though the story is excruciatingly unoriginal, you can always count on the bloody lifestyle of a mobster, right? Wrong! This game completely copies every aspect of Grand Theft Auto, but was good enough to leave out all the fun parts. When you shoot a civilian on a street corner with your Tommy gun, that civilian does exactly what any real human being would do -- fall into a fetal position, spilling absolutely no blood and eventually disappearing (sarcasm).

Other problems include the driving itself. In most cars, your maximum speed is 60 mph. I understand it is the '20s, but you really shouldn't include driving game play if it is lame, boring and has horrible handling to boot. However, the main problem with game play is getting to it. The loading times are painfully long and even have select loading screens that actually show you "elapsed waiting times."

If you want to obtain a general idea about Mafia, imagine an elderly Tommy Vercetti from Grand Theft Auto: Vice City sitting in a rocking chair, attached to an IV telling you the good ole days of being a gangster while everyone around him who was listening has either left or fallen asleep. Mafia gets one star out of four.

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LIVE TO WRITE. WRITE TO SELL.
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WRITER'S  WIT
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I'm Looking for Myself -- Did You See Me?
By Paula Cochran (paula4mail@evenlink.com)

I am reading a book by the latest of the psychobabble gurus. I hear so much about this guy, but never see the show he frequents. Everyone raves about his advice, books and wisdom. I thought, "Hey, this is something I ought to look into!" So I did.

This dude says I should begin to live my life by fulfilling my deepest inner goals and spiritual longings. I need to stop living for the world, my kids, husband, work, etc. I need to take care of me and do what I want to do and need to do to find my true being. Or something like that.

I thought I'd give it a try. From now on I'm going to do and be all my inner self desires without a thought or concern to anyone else. My inner self has decided to quit doing things that don't make me happy or bring me inner peace and true harmony. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to quit working, cooking, cleaning, shopping for stuff I hate to buy (clothes are in, food is out), paying bills, driving people around, waiting in line (this is a me-first program), fixing broken stuff, pulling weeds, exercising and a bunch of other stuff I don't feel like doing because it's not fun!

From now on I'm going to follow my deepest yearnings so that I can become my authentic self and grow into my intended spirit. Starting tomorrow, my being longs to stay up late and sleep until I feel like getting up. Instead of working I'm going to read Emerson while lounging in the sun, drinking imported water from a hand-blown wine glass. I will be dressed in the finest designer clothes that have been professionally cleaned and pressed. Each evening I'll eat at the restaurant of my choice, without looking at the prices. No more hamburgers -- filet mignon, if you please.

All of the money that flows in from our business will be spent on what I want to spend it on: maybe a little vacation to the Caribbean or I could go to one of those spas the movie stars go to. Spending my days wrapped in tin foil with mashed cucumbers all over my face while having my toes painted would be nice.

When I get home I'll be the most refreshed, happy, self-found, divorced, homeless, bankrupt woman in town! Oh, won't it be fun?

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RECOMMENDED LINKS FOR WRITERS:
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Fiction Factor, http://www.fictionfactor.com
Food Writing, http://www.food-writing.com
Gila Queen, http://free-path.org/gilaqueen/
OrganizedWriter.com, http://www.organizedwriter.com
Paying Writer Jobs PayingWriterJobs@yahoogroups.com
Sell Writing Online, http://www.sellwritingonline.com
SF Romance, http://www.sfronline.com
SpecFicMe Market Newsletter, http://www.specficworld.com/sfme.html
Vision: A Resource for Writers, http://www.lazette.net/Vision/
Worldwide Freelance Writer, http://www.worldwidefreelance.com
WritingAustralia.com eZine, http://www.writingaustralia.com
WriteCraftWeb, http://www.writecraftweb.com
WritersCrossing.com Newsletter, http://www.WritersCrossing.com
Writer Gazette, http://www.writergazette.com
The Writer's Hood, http://www.writershood.com
The Writer's Life, http://www.thewriterslife.net
Writing for Success, hhttp://www.writing4success.com/newsletter.htm
Write Success, http://writesuccess.com
The Write Way, http://www.write101.com

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